Arman's stuff

(Tue Jul 7 11:59:48 2009)

I like nightmares. Well, usually. I'm not the kind of person who believes every dream you ever have

I like nightmares. Well, usually. I'm not the kind of person who believes every dream you ever have relates to some physical or mystical thing in the real world. I do, however, believe that dreams tell you things - sometimes. If you are dreaming that you really have to go to the bathroom, chances are, you really have to go to the bathroom. If you (frequently) dream that everything is going wrong at work, you are probably a bit stressed. But, if you dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs while wearing a camel outfit and singing "Oh Happy Day," chances are your brain is just making up random garbage. Sometimes, dreams are just fun. Or scary...

The earliest dream I remember was from when I was four, while I was taking an afternoon nap. I dreamed Mom called, "Andrew, come help me with the laundry!" Being four, I loved helping with anything, so I jumped out of bed. Before I could even get out the door, Mom said, "Aw, I'm already done. You were too slow. But you can help with dishes!"
I walked out of my room, only to see Mom, sound asleep on the sofa in the living room. Even so, her voice came from the kitchen, "You were too slow again. But maybe you could help with..."
I walked into the kitchen, only to see what looked like a globe sitting on the floor. It had a speaker on one side, and every once in a while, it would broadcast Mom's voice, asking for help with something, them a few seconds later, tell me how I was too slow and couldn't help. Like one does in dreams, I knew exactly what it was. I pointed at it, and said, "Go away Devil!" Then I woke up.
It wasn't a terrible dream, but it was disturbing; it came with a lesson, though. If I had stayed in my room, I would have gotten depressed from not being able to help. As it was, though, I discovered the source of the troubles and rebuked it, which solved the problem. In short, I learned from it.

When I was older, maybe 7 or 8, I dreamed that I was outside playing with my brother (at the time, my only brother). Mom was holding my baby sister, talking with a neighbor. We spotted three very odd dogs, which we decided to name. The first was a beagle-like dog with a triangular prism-shaped head; we ran past, naming it "Triangle Head" (what? We were young!). The second was a poodle-like dog with a perfect cube for a head ("Squarehead!"), and the third was a largish mutt with a very human-looking face, who we dubbed "Tom!". When we yelled his name, he grinned, in a very guilty way, which we thought was quite funny. Suddenly, a bugle sounded, and a voice said plainly, "The dogs are coming."
My brother and I ran inside, to our room; I could hear barking, then suddenly waves of dogs poured into our yard! A Doberman smashed through our bedroom window as we climbed onto the top bunk of our bunkbeds, and began barking and snapping at us as even more dogs filled the room.
That dream started well, but ended pretty bad. I'm pretty sure our neighbor's dog was the root cause; it was mean, even to the point of biting me and drawing blood. I was pretty scared of the stupid thing...

When I was 12, I dreamed that my brother and I were playing in our room. On our beds were our "sleeping twins" - everyone in the world had a twin that was always asleep, so we didn't have to be asleep. As we played, however, my brother's twin opened its eyes. That was scary, not because of any real-world reason, but because of something my mind had invented - the sleeping twin waking up, forcing the awake twin to sleep...
I also dreamed that there was a car wreck. Mists obscured the wreck, but I could see people wandering around outside; I left the house, but as I walked through the yard, nothing was moving. Shapes loomed, but only because of the shifting fog; even the people I saw were completely still. It was dead quiet, and dead still.
That dream was part of what prompted me to write "Timeless." It was freaky while I was dreaming it, but afterwards, it was thrilling, not scary.

I had plenty of nightmares when I was young, but the majority were not enough to have a lasting effect on me. I've dreamed about dogs chasing me, about being lost, even about zombies; but those dreams were only dreams. They were scary, but it was easy to calm myself afterwards and go to sleep.

When I got to college, however, things started changing. About halfway through college life, I started having dreams about projects being overdue, papers being lost, and professors being angry. I dreamed about being late for class and missing a test, or forgetting about an important assignment. Not normal dreams, where I could shake it off and go back to sleep; these dreams woke me just before I had to get up, and left me frantic, because I knew I had to get that assignment in - only to realize I still had two weeks. Obviously, it was nothing more than college stress leaking into my dreams, but when I woke up, the stress from missing that test stayed with me a lot longer than the fear of that rabid dog, years earlier.

Recently, I've had dreams where I've gotten angry at someone - usually someone I would never get that angry about. The reason for my anger (in the dream) was justified, but not when I awoke. Even so, I was still angry; no longer at that person, as I know it was nothing they did, but the anger remained. Those dreams aren't exactly nightmares, but they are enough to scare me when I wake up; I don't like being angry, and I rarely am.

This morning I had a dream; I dreamed I went to Wendy's, to buy a salad and some chili. My wife showed up to take me home, but after we got to the car, she decided to get our son something to eat. We went through the drive-through (which was odd, as it dead-ended in a parking space), but as we were waiting for our food, I saw a couple, walking on the other side of the street; the girl was obviously pregnant. They started to argue; when the girl tripped and fell, the man walked off, then returned with a belt. I knew something was going to go wrong, so I jumped out of the car, and dashed over to the guy. As I fought him, he started saying how he was just going to kick her; I got him in a choke hold, but he got out and ran into a store. I followed him, because I knew he was going to hurt someone. He kept up a running monologue about how he "just wanted to kick the baby out." I knocked him over and got him in a choke hold, but every time I choked him unconscious, as soon as I let go, he sprang back awake. I got my wife to escort the girl somewhere safe; I choked the guy unconscious, finally, and ran for my car (which happened to be my old car, which is destined for the junkyard). As I got to my car, I saw a dark shape run out of the store, moving inhumanly fast. By the time I started the car, he ran up beside it, grinning maniacally, just as I woke up.
That dream was scary, but not heart-racing scary. It was dread; I'm not a violent person, so choking someone (in this case, to save someone else) is almost disgusting. The worst part was his one line, though. He was never angry, never vindictive, but he said he "wanted to kick the baby out." He viewed that precious life as nothing more than a simple obstacle; his statement was as if killing the unborn baby was nothing more than playfully pushing a dog out of the way, or shoving a box to the side. The almost cheerful cruelty of the man shook me; I didn't wake up afraid, or angry, or thrilled, but instead, horrified.

Dreams are strange. Sometimes, they scare you to your core; sometimes, what should have been scary is almost funny. Sometimes, what started as a nightmare can be turned into a thrilling account of daring-do; sometimes, what started as a fun romp ends in terror. My dreams often reflect what is going on in my life, but every so often, I get a curve ball from out of nowhere. Some insignificant detail of my life suddenly gets a huge back story that, upon waking, makes little sense, but while asleep is terribly (or awesomely) realistic.

So what are your dreams like? Do you enjoy what most people would call a nightmare, like I do? What's your earliest dream you can remember?

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This blag is tagged: Dreams, Nightmares, All